People are coming out as ‘male lesbians’ – the term explained

The phrase “male lesbian” has been increasingly discussed on social media, leading to confusion about its true meaning.

Continue reading to find out more.

A Reddit user encapsulated the ongoing discussion after encountering the term frequently online, stating, “I researched it but concluded that male lesbians are men attracted to women… isn’t that just heterosexuality?”

However, experts argue that the reality is much more complex, with the term rooted in decades of LGBTQ+ history, gender identity, and personal narratives.

Although the term may seem paradoxical, specialists emphasize that there is no single, widely accepted definition. LGBTQ+ educator Byrd noted that the term is primarily used by transgender men, transmasculine individuals, or some non-binary people who still feel connected to the lesbian community post-transition.

For many, this label signifies a deep connection to lesbian culture and identity that predates their transition, rather than merely indicating their sexual orientation.

“In trans communities, it’s generally recognized as a self-identifying term,” Byrd remarked, while also mentioning that some lesbians oppose men using the label, believing it dilutes the traditional understanding of lesbian identity.

Sexologist Kiki Maree reiterated that there is no consensus within the community.

“Currently, many LGBTQ+ individuals would argue that ‘male lesbian’ is not a recognized or widely accepted identity,” she clarified, noting that the term is interpreted in various ways by different people.

While many individuals are just now becoming familiar with the term, it has been part of academic conversations since at least the 1980s.

Psychologist Brian G. Gilmartin introduced the phrase in his 1987 book, Shyness & Love, albeit in a different context. He referred to heterosexual men who felt a disconnect from conventional masculinity but did not see themselves as transgender.

Experts indicate that this definition is mostly outdated and varies greatly from the current discussions surrounding the term.

In the 1990s, philosopher Jacquelyn N. Zita further examined the concept through the perspectives of gender identity and feminism, looking at how biological sex, identity, and lived experiences intersect.

Maree points out that one of the most significant misconceptions is the assumption that everyone who identifies with the label shares the same understanding.

Discussions online often lump together transgender men, non-binary individuals, he/him lesbians, and other gender-diverse identities, despite the fact that they represent very distinct experiences.

Dr. Shanéa Thomas, an AASECT-certified sexuality educator, noted that she seldom hears the term used within LGBTQ+ spaces and believes that much of the ongoing conversation is being shaped by social media rather than the language of the community itself.

Instead of concentrating on whether a label is deemed ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ all three experts suggested that it’s more beneficial to inquire about what individuals mean by it.

Maree pointed out that identity labels often encompass various meanings. “They don’t merely describe sexuality or gender—they can also signify history, culture, community, and personal experiences.”

Byrd mentioned that gender and identity are continually changing, while Dr. Thomas urged people to listen to LGBTQ+ voices rather than depending solely on trending online discussions.

As one social media user expressed, “Nobody should have to clarify every tiny aspect of their identity, even if it’s perplexing.”

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